Meetings

All good people agree, / And all good people say, / All nice people, like Us, are We / And every one else is They: / But if you cross over the sea, / Instead of over the way, / You may end by (think of it!) looking on We / As only a sort of They !
-Rudyard Kipling, from We and They



The style of meetings in America is very different from the style of meetings in Uganda....

Your meeting is in America at 8:30
You come from your office at 8:34
You're late

Their meeting is at 10
They come from their fields at 12:30
They're right on time

Your meeting is
In a conference room
In a board room
In an office

Their meeting is
In a dim, crowded sitting room
In an old run-down courthouse
Under a tent
On benches in a mud brick building:



On benches outside the local clinic:

In the middle of a field under a tree:

At the edge of town under a tree:
Under a tarp held up with wooden poles:
In a church with a straw floor:


When you look around, you see
Beige-
Walls with neutral paint
Generic framed art
Gray-
Carpet
Padded chairs


If they look around, they see
Green-
Banana trees
Papaya trees
Jackfruit trees
Mango trees
Avacado trees
Maize

Brown- Dirt roads
Mud brick houses


To your meeting, you wear
A sports coat

Slacks

A dress suit

Low-heeled pumps

An appropriate hairstyle

A conservative tie

A watch

To their meeting, they wear

A gomesi

A button-up shirt

Second hand western clothes

Repaired sandals

A head scarf

Bold prints

A rosary

-

You bring

A laptop

A big legal pad

A nice heavy pen

-

They bring

A baby

A small spiral notepad

And a cheap plastic bic

You meet with these particular people
Because you work in the same department
Because you all have deadlines

They meet with these particular people
Because they live in the same village
Because they all have concerns about HIV

Your kids are
At daycare
With a nanny, playing with educational toys
Sitting at a desk while their teacher draws shapes on the board

Their kids are

At the meeting:

On a mat nearby, playing with a plastic bag

Sitting outside while their muzungu draws shapes on her notepad:
At your meeting, you get
Coffee


At their meeting, they eat and/or feed guests
Tea with milk

Matooke with beef:

Matooke with pork
Matooke with g-nut sauce

Matooke with g-nut sauce and fish
Luwombo, sauce wrapped up in banana leaves:

Cassava Sweet potatoes
Greens
Eggplant
Cabbage


When a very important person comes to your meeting, you give him
An honorarium

When a very important person comes to their meeting, they give her
Matooke
Avacadoes
Beans
Greens
Passion fruit
Sugarcane
Jackfruit
Brooms
A live chicken
Eggs
Entuntuno (sour berries, so good!)

Your background noises are
The click of nice shoes on a hard floor
The air conditioner cutting off
A cell phone
The copy machine

Their background noises are
Goats
Birds chirping
Kids
Roosters
Motorcycle taxis

You eat
At a table
With a fork

They eat
On a mat
With their fingers:


That is how you are very different from them.

But, at your meeting, you
Discuss ideas
Work together
State your opinions
Point out interesting things
Become very intent
Are frustrated
Are confused
Get bored
And laugh

And at their meeting, they
Discuss ideas
Work together
State their opinions
Point out interesting things:

Become very intent:

Are frustrated:
Are confused:
Get bored:
and Laugh:

And that is how you are the same.

Story, Part 3!

Jess continued to live peacefully at the convent, without any rats to speak of. She remained friends with the cat who ate the navy seal rat, and had also sucessfully kept her tomatoes away from the tomato-scarfing lizards.

However, it should also be said that, ever since Jess had moved in, she had heard noises coming from her 12-foot-high ceilings. The noises were sporadic- she heard them every two weeks or so. But, when she heard them, she REALLY heard them. They sounded like... something galloping. These were not small scurrying noises, they were extremely loud thump-thump, thump-thump noises. Every time she heard them, Jess sort of ducked, irrationally afraid that the ceiling was going to fall down.

Jess had decided that these noises must be caused by the grandparents of the navy seal rat which had met its untimely fate. A grandaddy and grandmom so big and fat that no mosquito net would help and even the cat would be afraid. (They would also have red beady eyes. Big huge galloping rats always have red beady eyes.) But, Jess had become quite accustomed to hearing the galloping every once in a while, and figured that as long as the rats were above her room rather than in it, there wasn't really a problem.

'

Now, while the convent in which Jess lived was very nice, it was also very old. It was the rainy season in Uganda, and one night, it rained very heavily the whole night long. It the morning, Jess got up and went to her front room, where she found some water on the floor. She looked up at her 12-foot ceiling to see that one of her ceiling tiles was bulging, and water was dripping down. There wasn't too much water, but Jess was worried because she and her sister Laura were having a dinner party that weekend, and she didn't want the ceiling tile to burst while her guests were there. She left a note and her key for the sister in charge of the convent, and went to work.

'

The next night, it rained again, but not as much. The roof and the ceiling had not been repaired, so they once again leaked, although this time not as much. The ceiling was still bulging, and Jess was still planning her dinner party.

'

The following night, it rained again. It leaked again. Finally, a repairman came to look at it the next day. However, he said that he would need to come back when it was raining in order to see exactly where the leak was. Jess was skeptical, because no one in Ugandan travels when it is raining. And, her repairman friend had a motorcycle, further decreasing his chances of traveling in the rain.

'

Finally, a night passed and it did not rain. The ceiling tile kept its huge bulge and water stain, but no more water came in. Jess had her dinner party, and a good time was had by all. Everyone made sure not to sit under the bulging spot, just in case.

'

It did not rain for several days after that, so the repairman did not come. Jess was getting used to having the bulge, and was no longer afraid that it was going to fall. Jess had not heard the galloping noises for a few weeks.

'

One morning, Jess was in her bedroom, while Laura was on the phone in the front room. Jess heard a small pop-crack, and then, "Ahh!! ahhahhhAHHHH! Yeow! CRASH-whoosh-SPLAAAAT!" In her head, Jess pictured the ceiling caved in, and her sister and the whole room covered in nasty ceiling-bulge water. (Hence the splat.) She yelled, "Hang on, I'm coming, I'm coming!!!" and ran to the sitting room...

'

She found: dirt, Laura laughing one of those nervous laughs that you laugh when you really want to scream, and... a cat! If the cat could laugh, he would have been laughing a nervous laugh too, but instead he was yeowing like crazy and looking for the nearest exit. Laura said, "Let him out! He's freaking out!" so Jess hurriedly opened her door and let the poor cat go. After checking to be sure that Laura too was okay, Jess went back to examine the front room.

'

Dirt was scattered all over the floor (that was the splat), but thankfully there was no water. Jess looked up. Instead of a big bulge in the ceiling, Jess found a cat-sized hole where the bulge had been.
(In the background, Laura, still on the phone, was cracking up while narrating, "Oh my goodness! A cat just fell through the ceiling! A CAT JUST FELL THROUGH THE CEILING!!!") That's right, the cat had indeed fallen through the ceiling.

This is what Laura felt like:

Despite his 12-foot fall, the cat was miraculously uninjured. Perhaps his psyche was a little disturbed, but yours would be too if what you thought was ground suddenly gave way and dropped you 12 feet. (By the way, this is the very same cat that is Jess's hero for eating her rat.) Now he is especially her hero, for surviving such a fall. This is him hanging out a few days after the ceiling incident, cool as ever:

So, the mysterious galloping noises have been solved. If there are rats with red beady eyes, there is a galloping cat to catch them. The ceiling has not been fixed, so for now, there is still a large hole, which Jess and Laura look at and shake their heads.

'

The Wilson sisters have concluded that in Uganda, it does, in fact, rain cats and dogs. Or, at least cats!